Mirrors

Contrary to popular belief, mirrors may not show you an exact reflection of yourself. Thought this is a generally well known fact due to those fun mirrors at carnivals and whatnot, I feel that too many people forget when they're at clothing stores. Just like how clothing stores do external advertising to get customers in, they use a more stealthy form of advertising once you make it in store. This is accomplished through warped mirrors that make you look much better than you actually do. That way after you buy your clothes and get home only to realize that you look terrible in destroyed jeans, you'll be too lazy to go back to the store and return it. I recently went to the mall and here are 3 examples of warped store mirrors I didn't notice till now, because I'm fat and I have no job.

Example 1:

Hollister

This is a unique case, because it uses two forms of image manipulation that has nothing to do with the mirrors themselves, but rather the store atmosphere. First they imprint your mind with ridiculously cut and buff mannequins with massive dongs by putting out 300 of those right in front of the store, all wearing track jackets with no shirts, surrounding you. You feel like you're in "bukkake legends vol. 3" so you take your last deep breath of air waiting for what's coming, but instead you get a jolt of shitty polo sports rip off cologne. Either this volume is mexican edition or they're putting trace amounts of hallucinogens in the scent. Next thing you know you're grabbing a brightly colored track jacket, and in a daze of shitty cologne and a feeling of euphoria from having narrowly avoided a face full of nut, you realize that you weren't actually the receiver, but the giver. Plus, it's so fucking dark in the dressing room, and the mirror so fucking close you have to use your imagination or buy something based off of what can only be described as a Beethoven bust.


Hollister is the only place where I can be an alpha male.(left: me at hollister, right: me at home


This is all you're ever going to see in that dank claustrophobic fitting room

Example 2:

American Apparel

I really should have known better, since I have seen people walking out of american apparel with extremely deep cut v-neck shirts, but Nicole wanted to go in to buy something, so I had no choice. Anyways, they had some pretty nice colors, so I decided to try on a couple shirts. Holy shit the shirt looked good on me. The mirrors must've have been warped to have some sort of myspace angle, because my double chin was suddenly gone, the v-neck didn't look as deep, and I was fucking seven feet tall. Realizing that I could probably play professional basketball or have my own rap career, I bought their overpriced shirt. Unfortunately when I got home my second chin made its reappearance and my hardened nipples were exposed for all to see, hardened from the shiver I got from having to look at my own naked body and the fact that I over paid for what was basically half a shirt.


"yeah, I'm seven feet tall, wanna fight about it? left: met at AA right: me at home

Example 3:

GAP

This is only for certain gaps, but my speculation is that the earlier gap stores got the bulk of their mirrors from antique stores in the middle east, probably along with a few cases of wish granting monkey paws to boot, since the store is still around despite sucking pretty hard. Anyways, the mirrors there either shows a reflection of you with extreme dwarfism or, in shallow hal fashion, shows what you really look like on the inside. Apparently I look like an oompa loompa, because their mirrors make you look stocky and short like a dwarven blacksmith.


best oompa loompa picture I could find

That's pretty much it for mirrors.

Sung

Bell Biv DeVoe

Today, we're taking it old school with Bell Biv DeVoe. These are some smooth motherfuckers, so smooth in fact I'm fully confidant that they would've been able to get laid consistently whether or not they were rap and hip hop masters. I've always liked these sort of old school stuff, because they are generally pretty wholesome and contain solid beats, but mostly because I'm tired of the gangster rap stuff I grew up with. Plus, anyone else tired of Enimen's raps? I mean the guy has the same damn formula of rapping pretty normally, then gradually getting really angry, then getting normal again. It's an old and tired formula, but if he's targeting the same old eight grade demographics that he catered to when I was in eighth grade, I guess that makes him a smart business man. Sort of like how my mom during the height of baggy jean popularity bought me jeans so tight I almost shat out my balls every time I tried to sit down, makes her a childhood ruiner.


Bell Biv DeVoe- Poison


Scrubs- Turk Poison Dance

For good measure, a present for those that like scrubs, not really a fan of the show myself, but this dancing is pretty good and funny. Peace.

Science Projects

Elementary school was fun, or at least I remember it being fun, but one of the most fun and aggravating part of elementary school was the science fairs. It was fun in the sense that I got to tap into my creative side and try to come up with cool projects to do. Well, actually come up with cool projects and let my dad do them. So for the fourth grade science fair I told my dad I was interested in the planets, particularly the sun. So I just rented a book from the library, handed it to my dad and let him create an awesome and highly informative poster board.


My (dad's) awesome poster board

It came out fantastic, and I thought I was going to win for sure. But I guess my teachers pretty much figured out that I didn't really do the work myself and just gave me a goddamn participant ribbon. Man I hated those things, even as a kid I knew it was a sort of slap in face. But that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that my arch nemesis Gomez won fucking first place for his lame ass science project.


Gomez being a douche as usual

So for fifth grade my last and final chance at winning first place, I decided to actually do my work. So for christmas I asked my parents for one of those science experiments for kids book, and looked through every experiment until I came across one that blew my fucking mind. It was a project for a lemon battery, something about the acid in the lemon working as an energy source for an extremely low wattage lightbulb (those really really tiny ones). Anyways, I knew that this would kick the shit out of anything Gomez could pull out of his ass. Unfortunately no one could help me solder the wiring to the lightbulb until a few days before the actual science fair, so I didn't find out till a day or two before the actual fair that the goddamn thing doesn't fucking work. No amount of yelling or punching helped light the thing up. I even thought about hiding a battery in there, but I didn't want to win like that.


I hate you so hard

Anyways, the following day I took my piece of shit lemon lightbulb, got participant again, and tried to hold back the tears as Gomez won the fair again. I don't remember what his project was that day, he probably figured out a way to remove the rest of the smucker's label off the jam jar or something, but I do remember promising myself that from that day forth I would never trust anything published by scholastic publishing company again and that if I ever saw gomez or a lemon dying on the side of a street asking for help, I would ignore them with a smile on my face and drive away into the night.

Trainspotting

Weekend again, and another movie recommendation. This one hits close though, since it is one of my favorite movies of all time. At least on the top ten. Anyways, as usual I don't like giving away too much of the plot, but it's essentially about a bunch of heroin addicts, focusing on one in particular, and their struggles with quitting, money, and life. It sounds dark, but it's a surprisingly fun and witty movie, and comes with a kind of light tone. Don't get me wrong though, there's definitely a deeper message in there, but you won't realize it till the credits, because the movie is consistently entertaining. The main draw of the movie for me though is the cast. Everyone works extremely well together and everyone feels unique. So give it rental, as it comes with the highest praise from both myself and critics.

Also don't bother trying to rent it from blockbuster, for some reason they don't like carrying decent flicks, and would rather carry 5000 copies of iron man 2. I understand they're a business, but goddamn at least carry a single fucking rentable copy of Trainspotting. So if you want to rent it, it'll either have to be through netflix or a purchase or... you know... yeah.


Trainspotting Trailer
NSFW

Nicole

Well, since Nicole is always linking my blog, I feel that it is only right to place a link to her blog as well.

Nicole's Blog

Her blog is a lot more interesting than mine, since she actually likes to do things and visit unique places and whatnot. So check it out if you're bored. I'm too lazy to write a proper blog, and I don't feel like linking a song today.

Five Man Team- Pitch Black Edition

So after watching Vin Diesel slice up monsters and pop his shoulder out of his socket in Pitch Black, and watching some shitty scary movie called Darkness Falls where a tooth fairy goes on a killing rampage, I wanted to create my own five man team in case I ever get stuck someplace where I am forced to fight against light sensitive creatures. Here we go:

1. German Raver


The whistle will also help attract the brunt of the alien monsters in case one of us has to die

Sure he doesn't have much light with only two glowsticks, but when the bass kicks in and the ecstacy starts flowing, he'll start to feel the music man, like "oontz, oontz, oontz" and there's no stopping this guy. It'll be like watching the disney electrical parade, but instead the trains will be going 300 mph and the music will be hand selected by DJ Claussteinberg.

2. Blain from Predator (Jesse Ventura)


Random guy: You're bleeding.
Blain: I AIN'T GOT TIME TO BLEED.

Jesse Ventura doesn't really have any flashlights or technically any light source at all, but he has a gigantic machine gun. The way Jesse Ventura works is that he blows things up (thus creating light), so he doesn't really need any light sources. If you have ever seen predator, every viet cong village he shoots goes up in flames or explodes. We're talking about refugee houses made of straws and wood with no electricity blowing up and catching on fire from bullets. It doesn't make any damn sense, but if Blain's machinegun shoots explosive fire bullets, I'm all for it. Also if he ever runs out of bullets (he never does), he can use wrestling moves on aliens and shoot snus in their eyes.

3. Christina Hendricks


Dem titties man, dem goddamn titties.

Also known as the girl from Firefly and Mad Men, she's hot and has enormous tits. So I figure it'll be nice to have something good to at, while killing things. Yeah... that's pretty much it.

4. Bio-Luminescent Jellyfish

Not my picture, got it from the internet somewhere.

If you've ever played the fantastic space opera role playing game Mass Effect 1 or 2, then you know what I'm talking about (Hanar). Otherwise just think of my next team member as a glowing jellyfish that that is capable of shooting multiple guns at once and can talk. Basically the guy is unkillable on this planet, since even if those light sensitive aliens were able to get near the Jellyfish it'll just die from the light radiating from its body. It's not even fair.

5. Me

I'm probably just going to wedge myself in between Christina Hendrick's boobs and keep the boombox going for the German Guy.

That's my unstoppable five man team for Pitch Black and Darkness Falls.

Celebrating the 4th

In order to celebrate, I'm going to give myself a break from posting till Tuesday. Have fun at BBQs and fireworks shows.

-Sung

L4D2 (guest post by Sung's girlfriend)

So Sung and I played Left for Dead 2 with some of Sung's friends at PC Bang one night, and it was so fun that Sung was inspired to purchase the game when Steam had a big sale a week or two ago. YAYYYY. There goes 31 hours of his life (Steam counts the number of hours you play).

Anyways, so on the weekends when I come over to hang out, I attempt to improve my L4D2 skills, since this is a team game, and I'm always the weakest link on a team. Embarrassing when you're playing with people you know, right??

Well I've played a few times since Sung bought the game, and I seriously have not found a player worse than me yet. I forget how to walk backwards, I stare at the ground and shoot my feet, I go up the winding staircases like 85% slower than the rest of my team, who (no surprise) always seems to leave me for dead. I also punch and shoot my teammates non-stop because I can't tell them apart from the zombies in the game.

But that's not what this post is about, this post is about Sung's back-seat gaming when I'm playing!!!!!!!!!!!! He just peeks over my shoulder and gives me "guidance" that I cannot follow because I'm too busy being bombarded by 10940234039 zombies in an ambush and I can't follow instructions like "press E" or "right click" when shit is going down.

So I made this drawing to show Sung (and his lovely readers) just how ridiculous our faces look beside one another look while I am playing L4D2. Enjoy!

Kings of Convenience- Mrs. Cold

I'm copping out again with another music post. This time by the extremely likable and highly acoustic Kings of Convenience. I think the music speaks for itself, but check out his other stuff or not, since I'll probably eventually post his other stuff anyways.

Sorry no embedding again.

Kings of Convenience- Mrs. Cold

Golf- 9 Hole

I went golfing yesterday with my mom at the Brea 9 hole golf course. I have to say it was pretty fun and an overall good experience, but here are some tips I gathered if you ever decide to go as well. Assuming it's your first time of course.

1. Wear shorts.

When I went the sky was overcast and a bit chilly so I decided to wear some slacks of medium thickness. This was a huge mistake, because at the end of the day I felt like I was wearing wool pants stuffed with mammoth fur. There's tons of walking and tons of hills. I mean you're essentially going to walk to where you hit your ball in order to putt, so considering the fact that you're going to hit your ball around 100 yards or more, you're going to be walking that 100 yards. Unless you rent a golf cart which means you're spoiled, fatty.

2. Steal balls from the driving range

I lost a ball in practically every course I hit, so unless you're pretty damn good, you're going to be losing all your balls. So just use the balls you stole from the driving range. That way you won't have to pay 25 bucks for a pack of balls every time you go to a golf course. Also I don't really call it stealing, since you're just taking back what was lost. It's not like they leave the balls to swelter in the ponds or anything, they pick them up and ship them to the driving range for your stealing pleasure. It's a balance we should all strive to maintain

3. Don't get stressed out

If you've ever tried to help your dad put together ikea furniture or pour juice, you know the pressure I'm talking about. Those scrutinizing eyes, criticizing every fired neuron and every muscle twitch in your body to make sure you do whatever it is you're doing to their exact liking. Eventually they push you away and do it themselves making you feel worthless. Fortunately, the other golfers waiting behind you are strangers and you paid good money to play, so they can't do anything physically. But those eyes, those goddamn eyes.



4. Don't suck so hard

Sure you're going to get more experience and skill as a golfer, but seriously don't suck so hard when you go. These mammoth pants are fucking hot and I've been waiting 15 minutes to hit the ball. Hurry the fuck up.

Happy golfing.

Ayn Rand- Atlas Shrugged

Apparently the punishment for siding with the Titans is having to hold up Ayn Rand's humongous sign, and being forced to look at your own balls for all of eternity

Don't worry, I'm not sitting in parks or buses and just scanning the pages. I'm actually try to read this goddamn 1,000 page book. Holy shit is the novel thick and the font small, but I have to say, so far it's pretty interesting. Now to keep in track with my series of books i'll never finish, I'm not entirely sure if I can finish this book.

I've been reading it mostly on and off again, and it is damn interesting for sure, but goddamn it's just too fucking long. I seem to take a break every two weeks and read another 50 pages or so, then take a break again. So through that i got past the first third of the book. And that's where I have stopped.

Plus the book is kind of fucking with my mind. All it ever talks about is how stupid you are for helping people, and there seems to be a little group of elitists who don't like helping each other, but love talking about how awesome and smart they are. It gets pretty depressing actually. In fact this book is pretty similar to seven pounds, in the aspect that so far the novel consists of everyone just being goddamn fucking serious all the fucking time. Plus everyone gets so goddamn butt hurt over any little help they get. It's like that guy who faked being disabled from "There's Something About Mary" where, he just wouldn't accept any help whatsoever no matter how small the help was. It feels like Rearden will kick you in the balls if you ever say thanks to him.

Anyways, the book is still damn good, and of course is recommended to anyone who wants something insanely long to read over the summer. It will definitely keep you hooked if you don't have anything better to do.

Sleep- How to Hack Your Brain

Today, all I did was sleep. I woke up at 9 AM, dropped my cousin and nephew off at Disneyland. Then I came back, played some l4d2, and went to sleep around 1:30 or 2:00 or something till 7:00 PM. So I decided to dedicate today's lazy Monday on sleep hacking for everyone who feels like ass in the morning. Too bad I'm more of a night person, since most jobs require you to be there around 9 AM. Sigh, guess I'll just have to adapt or learn to sleep like a uberman.



Found this in the crevices of the internet as well, as you can see most of my stuff doesn't have sources, but if you know the gentlemen, then by all means tell me. That way i can give credit where credit is due.

Hartfield- Girl Like You

Sorry, I really tried not to do another music blog, but it's late and I'm tired, so here's something to soothe you into bed and think about all the girls or guys you've missed out or got friendzoned by. Actually, this doesn't really apply to girls, since there's something more sensitive and disappointing about a guy not getting a girl. I don't want to go into details about it, but you know it's true. Guys are always getting fucked over lately, and I gotta say I'm getting sick of hearing girls bitch about their feminist plight when you got dudes wearing eyeliner and destroyed jeans, because practically every consumer good is geared towards you girls.

Anyways I'm getting off topic, Hartfield is a Japanese Shoegaze band. Apparently the music genre of shoegaze became pretty popular in Japan for a while and a bunch of bands popped up. This particular song, I'd say is pretty up there in terms of quality. Give it a listen, and remember, girls are taking over the world.

Hartfield- Girl Like You

Embedding was disabled, so please click the link.

Left 4 Dead 2

This game, so it seems, is the new thing to play at pc rooms. It's pretty damn fun, but i gotta say this post is extremely late in coming, since the main reason for this post was to let everyone know about the steam sale and the fact that this game is on sale for around 10 bucks. Well today is the last day to buy this game, so unless you're reading this post at 2 am, i doubt you'll wake up before 7am and immediately check this blog or steam and purchase the game.

Anyways the game is pretty fun, but only fun if you play with a group of friends. The game itself on a public game is pretty mediocre, since teamwork is difficult to maintain and there are a lot of griefers (people who intentionally bring down the team for their own enjoyment) about apparently. I haven't met any griefers yet myself, since there's probably a host of newbs playing right now (including myself) so I guess now would be the best time to play in public games.



Either way, the steam sale isn't just l4d2, it's a bunch of other games as well. So if you have a pc or mac, download the steam application and get some really good pc games at INCREDIBLE prices. Some rules you should follow though, when buying from steam during a sale such as this is:

1. Anything $5 dollars or less is probably not going to get any cheaper. Though admittedly things have gone as low as $2.50, so if you're feeling really cheap i guess you can wait for their daily sale.

2. Always wait for their daily sale. Even if you find the game you want at a discount, wait for the daily sale. Only get the game at the last day of the sale, steam is erratic in their pricing, so you shouldn't take any chances on potential great savings.

3. Make sure the game you're buying actually works on your pc or mac. Lots of games are still mac incompatible (though I think most valve software is compatible), and lots of pc games will not run well on a system not suited with the proper hardware. So do some research.

In terms of notable games, you can just check the metacritic list and basically what your friends play. I always say your friends are the best source for information since they already did the research for you. Also check out the packs, which offer tons of games from a single publisher at a ridiculously low price.

Happy gaming.

Steam Link

Lunch Table Rules

Ah, day in a life of high school. One of the main reasons why I oppose time travel is because I fucking hated high school and all the douchebags there (including myself). I also hated eating shitty rat meat burritos, doing busy work everyday, and trying not to cry when someone hurt my feelings. I guess maybe if it was present day high school where everyone is writing poems, grabbing each others dicks, and openly admitting to crying, I wouldn't mind so much, but just a few years ago in my day everyone was about being gangster and listening to dr dre. Much manlier times I'd say, I definitely didn't fit, and I definitely wouldn't want to relive it. College is where it's at I say, jerking off wherever and whenever you want, and playing video games till I accidentally fall asleep after jerking off. Great times.

This isn't my drawing, nor my picture by the way, but I found it in the crevices of the internet. Still, it expresses my idea of what high school was like for me, if I were to be a young lady I guess. Either way the drawing is fantastic.

7 Pounds

Well, its Thursday again, and you probably haven't seen the movies I've been telling you to see. So I'm just going to write about another movie you shouldn't rent or watch, since those are more fun to write.

Today's movie is Seven pounds starring Will Smith, Rosario Dawson, and that sniper guy from Saving Private Ryan. This movie is fucking awful. It takes itself way too seriously with a shitty climax that is so unexpectedly lame it makes you hate yourself.

I made a pie chart of what this movie is mostly comprised of.


Notice the -1% to plot, apparently Microsoft Excel has seen the movie

As you can see, not a whole lot going on there. I didn't feel inspired, nor contemplative after the movie ended. Rather, i felt like a construction worker took a jackhammer to my asshole from all the angry butt clenching i did throughout the movie. Really, the only good thing about this movie i guess is that it'll make you want to see it till the end to see how angry you can get. I think it's safe to say that if you can make it through the entire movie without so much as twitching an eye, you'll be instantly transported to Shangri-La on top of Buddha's shoulder as his second.

Broken Social Scene- All to All

Broken Social Scene, your typical indie type band. You probably heard one of their songs in college, i mean they play it probably at half the rate of jack johnson songs, which means they play it a fuckton.


Broken Social Scene- All to All

So, here's one of their newer songs, which apparently came out on their new album on May 4, 2010. This is the only song i've heard off the album, but it's pretty good, so give it a listen. I have to admit I typically only like a few select songs from Broken Social Scene albums, so I can' really recommend anything here. I can really only say that you should listen to samples and buy songs individually if you like what you hear. Pretty typical stuff for them, plus their older stuff has Feist on it.

Sing Song Sung

Sung's feeling real lazy so he asked me, his girlfriend, to stand in for him for his nightly blog post.

I consented and set about coming up with a topic.

He then proceeded to demand phone company, help locating a book, and PDA in the form of FB chatting, while threatening me with a good rattling, so I found my needed inspiration.

Sung and I started dating in 2006 and whenever we reflect on our humble beginnings at our beloved junior college, Mt. Sac, he seems to recall himself being exceedingly MORE awesome than my memories would suggest. Don't get me wrong, Sung was pretty awesome, but I think he fantasizes he looked something like this:



In any case, this is what he's been reduced to in the last 4 years:



Since his hey dey when he was apparently all buff and delivering pizzas, he seems to have shrunk about 5 and a half feet and is forced to steal corn for survival like some poor child from a third world country. he's also developed a tiny belly not unlike the ones possessed by said kids from said third world countries.

tra la la :3 (*note the mullet's consistency throughout the years).

Futurama

In case you didn't know, comedy central ordered 26 new episodes of futurama with the first episode to air on June 24 10pm EST. Overall I'm excited, but also a little apprehensive. I can see the show going downhill, a few of the newer episodes I saw were pretty awful, like the one where they emulate lord of the rings via dungeons and dragons. So, I'm hoping the series can maintain the same quality as the previous seasons, without too much change to the characterization. Character shifts typically occur in older seasons of the show, usually for worse, since i assume they're running out of material. For instance, Stewie from Family Guy was a genius baby intent on killing his mother and whatnot, but they changed his character into a flamboyant side kick. Another example is Homer Simpsons from the Simpsons, who was originally portrayed as a fumbling but kind hearted father, but is now pretty much a middle aged party frat boy.

Stuff like that is disappointing to see. So in essence, hopefully Futurama won't jump the shark, and end up ruining its already excellent syndication lineup.

1984- George Orwell

1984 by George Orwell (Signet Classic)

I'm, very unfortunately, adding this excellent book into my list of books I'll never finish. Sure it took me four times to get through that boring ass first few chapters where the guy bitches none stop about having his television, which is the size of a wall, but once you get past all that the book starts to really pick up. Since most people have probably already read this book as a high school requirement, I won't dwell on the plot or anything at all. Plus, I'm tired from cleaning my room and trying to get some stains out of my pants (smoothie stains). If for some reason you still haven't picked this book up, you should know every reference towards the Big Brother is watching you stuff is from this book.

So why haven't I finished a book I keep using flattering adjectives to describe? Is it so that I can appear intelligent by letting everyone know that I agree with all the other highly intellectual critics, like when people put lame facebook quotes on their info section like "a man's worth does not lie in the lines of his pockets, but on the girth of his penis- anonymous." (you have to write anonymous, so it's ambiguous as to whether you said it or not, plus if it's from like ghandi or someone really influential, you look too mainstream.


"My face whenever I order a subway sandwich"

The answer is no. The reason I haven't finished it was because, I was reading this book in a beanbag chair. My neck started to ache from the sheer amount of sitting I was doing, so I decided to check how many more pages i had to go before the end. Lacking discipline at such a young age, I couldn't help myself from reading the ending a little bit. This was near the end of the book, maybe 20-30 pages till the end tops. So when I found out what was going to happen, I lost all motivation to finish it.

This has always bothered me, since if you have ever seen pleasantville. There is a scene in the movie where this guy is reading Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, and the book is only half completed because the chick from reality says she only read half the book. That doesn't make sense without the context that pleasantville is a alternate reality based on a 50's picture perfect television show. Therefore controversial books like that does not exist unless the characters from our reality gets a hold of the book, which prompts the book to fill in its pages based on the holder's knowledge. Anyways, if I ever get sucked into pleasantville, the inhabitants there will only have 95% of 1984 completed with maybe a paragraph on the last page. That is if the white population doesn't arrest and beat me to death first for being asian.

Kaskade- Back on You

Well, if you've ever shopped at Express Men's you probably heard Kaskade somewhere among the mumbo jumbo of house music they have on their playlist there. If you didn't hear it there, then you probably heard it on those youtube makeup videos, assuming you're a chick.

Anyways, if you still haven't heard it, here it is in all its catchy form. I typically consider Kaskade to be for girls, who like driving around a lot in the city, but guys can listen to it too as long as you're a Armani wearing Persian.


Kaskade- Back on You

If you like this, then check out the stuff he did with Deadmau5. They're pretty good as well. Happy music time.

The Last Dragon

Ah, yikes almost forgot that i need to make a blog. Anyways, another campy movie for you guys to watch. This one is obviously called The Last Dragon as you can tell by the title, but despite its name it's not really an Asian old school martial arts movie. It's more in the line of old school black martial arts movie. Possibly the last of its kind, who knows? Or cares?

It pokes fun at itself or so it seems to me, I mean the whole movie seems over the top, with your typical badguy antics and whatnot, except for Sho'nuff the Shogun of Harlem, who possibly deserves his own movie. Tons of one liners and great quotes in this one, notably "kiss my converse" and others.

So onto the plot. Basically about a guy named Bruce Leeroy, who is trying to attain a type of martial arts nirvana called the glow. Unfortunately for him, he catches the eyes of a beautiful girl, and is constantly accosted by Sho'nuff who wants to prove that he's the best. Another bad guy is in there, but i can't remember his exact role (haven't watched it in a while) meaning he probably wasn't that memorable.

It's currently on netflix's watch instantly, so I suggest if you to watch it this instant if you have a netflix subscription.

Have fun.

edit: by the way, the trailer basically gives away the whole movie, so don't say I didn't warn you guys.


The Last Dragon Trailer (1985)

Justice- The Party (featuring Uffie)

This is Uffie. Many people have strong feelings that Ke$ha is a complete rip off of Uffie, but I have to kind of disagree. I mean this song is actually kind of the prime example of Ke$ha ripping off Uffie, but I have to say after listening to Uffie's other stuff like pop the glock and First Love, it's not that similar. Ke$ha has a vastly more pop oriented sound that was clearly defined and implemented by corporate, whereas Uffie has a more electronic bite to her songs and feels a bit more abstract overall. For example, with Uffie's stuff I imagine spaceships and old 50's style british space themes, whereas with Ke$ha i think more white trash parties and clubs. This might be due to the way they present themselves, but either way it shows that both artists moved in a different direction in terms of their target demographics. Regardless, both chicks rap in their own sort of way and both chicks rap about partying and having unprotected sex so I suppose and maybe that's grounds for style copy infringement, but whatevers.


Justice ft Uffie - The Party (August 17, 2007)

Nintendo 3DS

Nintendo 3DS at the Nintendo E3 Conference

In case you haven't been keeping up with E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo), nintendo has recently announced its new Nintendo 3DS portable game system. I'm typically not one to get too excited for consoles and such, since i like to focus my hype on actual games, but i was practically jizzing my pants during the whole reveal of the N3DS.

First and foremost, the 3D on the 3DS requires no glasses. This means that it's just 3D all the fucking time, but if it's "too" 3D for you there's an adjustable depth slider for you to configure the 3d to your tastes. Second, the thing lets you take 3D pictures. Sure you probably won't get much from uploading it on facebook, but goddamn it'll be cool taking pictures of random hallways and such, since those tend to have the most 3D effect. Besides as for facebook, if a bunch of people get 3DS then i'm sure they'll figure out a way to view the pictures uploaded in 3D on the 3DS. Also you can take 3D pictures of hot friends and pretend to touch them at night without the risks associated with actually touching them in inappropriate places. Third, it has motion sensors, gyro sensors, a slide pad, and a bottom touch screen. This essentially means better and more gaming options in the future. Lastly, it looks fucking sexy.

I'm so hyped by this that I'm actually even more motivated to find a job than I already am, so I can afford this beast on release day, and start my creepy picture collection.

The other E3 stuff, sony and microsoft, wasn't all that impressive. Nintendo had a bunch of retro games lined up, which is actually more awesome than it sounds since it had stuff like Kirby, Donkey Kong, and Kid Icarus to name a few. Microsoft's Kinect looks pretty lame, except for that dancing game, but i'll never admit to liking it except in this blog since it looks pretty gay. Sony had stuff we already knew were going to come up like Killzone 3, games in 3D (but with glasses), and surprisingly a new Twisted Metal which looks fucking awesome. Their Move controller (essentially a wiimote with supposedly better tracking) is reasonably priced, but didn't impress me too much since it's essentially another wii, but in HD.

If you want to check out the actual E3 shows I provided the links below. There's developer conferences as well such as EA, Ubisoft, and whatnot, but you can just click those yourself once you click on one of the links below.
Microsoft E3 Conference 2010
Nintendo E3 Conference 2010
Sony E3 Conference 2010

Bonnie Jean's Soul Food Café

Bonnie Jean's Soul Food Cafe (Yelp link)
Bonnie Jean's fancy website
1964 54th St
(between Grape St & Haniman Dr)
San Diego, CA 92105
(619) 262-8854

This is one of the places i visited during my camp vacation this past week in San Diego. The location is definitely a little shady with a liquor store right next door and cracked sidewalks everywhere, but you really only have to keep your rape whistle until you're past the front door of the cafe.

Inside is a really fun and eclectic environment that seems to invite entertainment, good food, and a celebration of black culture. The tables are roomy and the shelves are stacked with numerous gameboards ranging from the centerpiece chess set to scattergories and even kid friendly games like operation. The cafe itself has a little side gift shop as well, holding postcards and other trinkets you might want to pick up on your way out after a delicious meal.


Warm and nice interior-bonnie jean's soul food cafe

Which i now have to mention the meal is goddamn delicious. I mean this is the main reason you should be coming here. The fried chicken is crazy delicious. This isn't your typical salty ass, over battered KFC chicken, this is solid homemade fried chicken crisped to perfection in a decadent, light flaky crust. You throw on some of that pecan honey glaze and you're home free for sure. The corn bread is excellent as well, with corn and other stuff mixed into the batter (i was eating it pretty fast so i didn't really get a good look). Mash potatoes were typical, but the cole slaw was legit. After disappointing coleslaw from a number of places including lucilles, el pollo loco, and kfc, i was happy to stack bonnie jean's cole slaw right into my cornbread for a blast of ridiculous flavor. Fried macaroni was good, had jalapeno, but definitely could've just been served regular and still tasted jsut as good. The only cons of the meal was that it was mostly greasy as all hell, i mean pretty much everything was greasy and most likely filled with copious amounts of calories, and the fact that the meal is on the more expensive side. Fried chicken to me should be on the cheaper side of meal pricing, but this was on a more medium price list. I'm guessing it would cost around 10-15 a person, considering that we paid almost $45-50 for our meal, and we definitely could've used at least $20 additional dollars worth of food for seven people.


notice the small portion on each plate, definitely could've used more food, but boy was it good

Service is top notch, great people that makes you really feel welcome and at home. We even got some free honey pecan glaze and some extra chickens. The food itself takes a long time to come out, so be ready to spend some time there playing games and just chilling out. We went during a weekday so it wasn't too busy, but the owner told us that during the weekends it gets crazy and the wait can get ridiculous. But that just makes the food better in my opinion, you know, more love going into it and all. And trust me you can taste the love at Bonnie Jean's Soul Food Cafe.

TL&DR
Food: greasy and calorie heavy, but damn good
Environment: Outside looks post apocalyptic, inside is warm and fun with lots of board game entertainment
Service: Food takes a long time, but the people there are some of the sweetest people you'll ever meet.

Camping ended early

Eh, camping ended early due to some unfortunate event that occurred, which i will explain later, so stay tuned i suppose. i had a pretty good time, but I'm still tired from the trip. So i'll try to give an extensive account of the trip in a later post, if i remember.

I tried a lot of new and good restaurants in san diego, and i'll recount each one. Anywho, for those of you staying up late, and feeling a bit jittery here's something a little frightening to keep that feeling going. This video is old, very old actually. But i like posting old things in case a few of you missed it or don't mind revisiting it again now that you're older and hopefully wiser... overall.


February 26, 2008
Uploaded by: nana825763 (i think he/she is the creator as well)

Plaid- White's Dream (Shinichi Osawa Remix)

One of my favorite songs, remixed by Shinichi Osawa, Plaid's- White's Dream. The original is off the Tekkon Kinkreet OST, which they made the songs for.



Never seen Tekkon Kinkreet, it's on my netflix queue, but since i got cheap and changed my disc out to only one out at a time from the previous two movie, so movie watching has gone a bit slow for me lately. Either way I'll hopefully see it some day, the animation looks absolutely gorgeous.

Lord of the Rings

This is probably going to be the beginning of a series of blogs that concentrates on novels that i will probably never ever finish. And to start off this momentous event, i'm going to say that the Lord of the Rings Trilogy fucking bores me to tears.

I struggled through the Hobbit on a winter's week, which as i understand it is a children's book. So I was able to forgive all the goddamn hobbit songs which occurred every two paragraphs and the overtly detailed description of every piece of every shrub and crevice in the mountain. But when I finally got to the fellowship of the rings oh man i was in for a surprise.

See, i saw the movie first, which was probably a mistake considering how spectacular and action packed the movie was. So, naturally i was sort of expecting the same thing. I mean i understand that it is a novel, so things will be more detailed and the characters more fleshed out and whatnot, which was the main reason i was even reading the damn book. It turns out though, the fellowship of the ring has 50% more hobbit songs concentrate injected into the book's asscrack, but this time the hobbit songs just repeat everything that just happened or explains some shit that has no relevance to anything. Every page i turned, I had a cold sweat running down my back in fear of another 5 page hobbit song. My goodness, i couldn't take it anymore.

I figured the two towers would be more interesting since, the ball starts rolling then, but nope, you guessed it. I'm not even going to say it, either way I just stopped. Didn't even get passed the fifth chapter of that one. I figured I gave it my best shot, and the Lord of the Rings just fucking kills me. I felt like Gandalf the Gray after he got raped by an Ogre (that didn't really happen, but i had to make stuff up to entertain myself). Like i said, just too overtly descriptive and honestly just goddamn fucking tedious and sluggish to say the least. So basically i'm never going to finish this novel, unless I get captured by the Vietnamese and forced to either read the rest of trilogy or play russian roulette with a minimum of two bullets.

My face throughout the whole novel

Van Damme Movies

Yup, don't rent them. I have to say these are one of those martial arts action flicks that hasn't stood the test of time. Even with the fond childhood memories of watching Van Damme with sweat glistening on his rock hard body kicking the shit out of some other buff glistening man can't help any of these movies. The action scenes are all painfully slow and devoid of any decent choreography with half the movie devoted to showing the bad guy twitching his man boobs to show how evil he is. All the one liners suck ass. And there's always some shitty love story involved, which ruins the flow of the movie.


Other than the first 30 seconds you can pretty much stop watching, because you're going to be fucking bored.

But honestly, i'm being too harsh, Bloodsport (the one with all the man boob twitching) and Kickboxer are still pretty fucking awesome movies, especially for their time. Plus i heard good things about his recent movie JCVD. So i can't knock Van Damme too much.

Porn

Picture is pretty small so you're going to have to click on it to get a larger image, not that you didn't already know that. Anyways, i got this off a forum and found it pretty interesting. Just a bunch of facts and info on Pornography (note how sexually repressed Asians are). Enjoy.

Also for the girls, now you know where to go if you can't find a job and want to earn the equivalent of a lawyer's salary.

The Flashbulb- Arboreal

The album arboreal by Flashbulb was recently post on my facebook wall by my good friend and music guru Mike. It's pretty damn good, and sounds much more mainstream than his previous stuff. I've been listening to it pretty much all day as background noise and whatnot, so check it out. Highly recommended, especially in this day and age where good and new music is generally hard to find. At least for me.



The Flashbulb: Arboreal Album Website
Website has the entire album for free listen, I highly suggest you buy it if you have the cash, assuming you like it of course.

Royal/T

Royal/T official Website
8910 Washington Blvd
Culver City, CA 90232
T (310) 559-6300
F (310) 559-6633
Cafe Hours: 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM
Shop & Space: 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM


Man, i sure hope there's people actually reading this exhaustive blog. It's difficult to keep up with the drudge of having to write a new post everyday, but hey my mom has called me fat, lazy, and stupid before, but never a quitter. So i'll just keep trucking with this blog.

Anyways, the cafe i was talking about in my previous post is called Royal/T in Culver City, CA. It's a really nice place actually and to say the least very very artsy and dainty (little sugar cubes and cute utensils). The whole place is pretty big and even contains its own mini art gallery of sorts and a gift shop. All the waitresses are dressed in these cute, i guess sheep bo-beep type (if that didn't help think of little red riding hood, but pink) dresses. They also have a DJ in the back that plays some pretty decent electronica music, so definitely an easy going place. If you're feeling a bit apprehensive that the place is too niche for you, all types of people seem to frequent the place, so no worries.

The food is pricey, but the drinks, which is mostly comprised of tea, beer, and japanese liquor is pretty much what you'd expect in terms of price. I tried the royal tea, which is a sort of sweet milk tea and have to say it was pretty damn good. For food we ordered a type of food tier, that had four types of desserts and five appetizers. The portions are small, but the food is quite delicious, nothing mindblowing though. Dishes seem to be a type of japenese fusion, containing sashimi and kobe beef in the form of sandwhiches and hors d'oeuvres, including some original (with a twist) japanese cuisines.

Overall a really neat place, thanks to Tony who recommended the place and actually took us there. Definitely recommended, especially during times when they have shows (haven't actually been to one, but i'm assuming they're fun) and whatnot going on so look out for those.

Cut Copy- Lights & Music (Boys Noize Happy Birthday Remix)

Went to the 5th annual Culver City Art Walk on saturday with nicole and some of her singapore friends. It was pretty cool to say the least, went to a really nice cafe and got some free beer and salamis at the galleries. Definitely recommended for dates, i mean not just the culver city art walk, but the other art walks as well (like downtown for instance). You can look fancy, adventurous, and locally astute in one fell swoop all for essentially free. Why not?


Cut Copy- Lights & Music (Boys Noize Happy Birthday Remix)
Posted by: Timheydel

Quite an old song, heard it on kcrw (89.9 fm) a few years back and saved it to my favorites on youtube. Pretty good listen still and pretty dance-y as well. Actually very dance-y.

Fans

If you ever want to scare the crap out of a korean person, put a fan in their room while they're asleep and close the door and window, because when they wake up they're probably going to think that you were trying to fucking MURDER them. The reason behind this is that for some strange reason koreans believe that fans somehow kill you if you leave it on all night in a non ventilated. Actually, they're so afraid of this that they won't even turn it on all night in a ventilated room, just not worth the risk man.

As a kid I was always scared of being suffocated to death by a fan turned on at night. Since my family wasn't very wealthy we couldn't turn on the a/c during those intense summer nights, so rather than risk dying from suffocation I just had to bear the heat. Thinking about it now, it was pretty fucking retarded, but hey i was young and you pretty much believe anything your parents say concerning things that may result in your immediate death. Anyways as i got older, the whole concept of a fan killing you became less and less reasonable, especially in light of those times where i forgot to turn off the fan and miraculously woke up still alive and kicking. Eventually I just thought my parents made it up to save electricity. That is until I found this wikipedia article and realized that koreans being fucking scared shitless of fans wasn't just a belief isolated to my family. The fact that only korean fans have timers installed, which always made me wonder why american fans never had timers considering how dangerous fans are to the human health, is further proof of this epidemic. You can read more in the wikipedia article linked below.

Fan Death
(the cause of more deaths in South Korea than smoking, heart disease, and cancer combined according to my grandma)


"I will fucking kill your family, cut out their eyes, and rape every motherfucking hole if you forget to turn me off before going to bed- 22" plastic desk fan, known Mass Murderer

Poo Poo: A Sexual Delicatessen

Eat da Poo Poo (May 24, 2010)
posted by: dudeuter
Description: Intense ugandan hate speech against homosexuals...

Which begets the question, does eating poo poo make you gay, or does being gay require you to eat poo poo? Either way, after all this talk about poo poo smearing, if you ever give your infant child spaghetti (so you can take a cute picture) and he/she doesn't eat the cuisine like a british gentlemen and instead smears the sauce all over their face and engages in noodle licking, you can be pretty sure your kid is going end up being gayer than a maypole.


here's a picture of a maypole, so you can see how gay it is

Ayuse Kozue

Eh, as expected, i'm feeling tired and jaded, so i'm just going to post a mv. Expect this a lot since, keeping a blog up daily is hard work among all the other stuff i'm expected and required to do in my daily life.

On a side note though, never buy egg salad from albertsons. holy crap that tasted like ass, and i stupidly bought a pound of that stuff. In essence it tasted like chopped up mattress foam covered in dill, seasoned with my balls (it was vinegary). just thinking about it makes me want to punch a hole in my drywall and puke inside it.



sure this video is pretty gay for a bestubbled man like myself, but damn gotta say the typically "not all that attractive" ayuze is looking pretty fine here, plus the song is catchy, and it fits the summer theme of the progressing month of June.

Being John Malkovich

So we're hitting the weekend pretty fast, and if you're one of the two people reading my blog, you've probably already seen this movie, but if you happen to stumble upon my blog and don't know what to rent on netflix or download illegally for some friday night movie watching (and some touching... down there) with your significant other, then you've come to a decent place for advice on such activities.



Now, assuming you've already seen Tron, you should definitely add this movie to your queue. It's a really nice quirky movie about John Cusack, a failed puppeteer, who ends up finding a wormhole into John Malkovich's head. I mean i would explain more, but a lot of the entertainment factor of the movie resides in not knowing what the heck is going to happen next or predicting what's going to happen next and being pleasantly surprised when it actually does happen, because you know... sometimes you want something to happen, but not really, because if it does then it's not as exciting, but if it doesn't, then it's like man, they totally should've done that, because it would've been funny. Anyways, i'd have to say all the characters are likable including Cameron Diaz who i typically find to be very annoying. Overall, i'd liken this movie to Napoleon Dynamite, I mean this movie is better and has an actual plot, but it involves lots of interesting and meaningful characters in creative situations. FANTASTICO! MUY BUENO!


Trailer

Being John Malkovich (1999)
Starring: John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, Catherine Keener, John Malkovich
Directed by: Spike Jonze

TRON

Lately I have had the habit of getting excited and hyped up for a movie and then getting pretty disappointed when it finally comes out. This is largely due to the fact that a lot of movies being released nowadays are typically comic book adaptations or based on video games.

For example, well two examples actually, i had a huge hardon for the Watchman when its imminent release was announced, but the actual movie didn't really live up to the comic. Though i'll agree that i probably overhyped it too much. Now there's the Prince of Persia Movie, there really wasn't much hype other than the trailer i saw, since i never really got into the sands of time series (though i heard they were really good) and I only played the new prince of persia, which in all honestly was pretty fucking boring. Either way, the movie apparently has been regarded has highly mediocre at best, so i don't really feel like paying $12 dollars to see Jake's hairy chest and the princess act like a bitch for two hours and end up with x-men 3 plot holes and fridge logics.

And now i have a new hyped up movie. MOTHERF**KING TRON LEGACY. First off, i have to say the original was pretty damn good, i saw it for the first time a few days ago and was still honestly damn entertained, unlike Clash of the Titans, which was slow and boring with the only thing keeping me awake being the chance to see some more greek boobies (trust me there's only two pairs, well two and a half, one of them is a side boob). Anyways, i noticed that there was going to be a sequel in wikipedia and lo behold it looks really fucking awesome.

Honestly? what can go wrong with this one? It has the original fucking cast, ost by daft punk (24 original songs and remixes), and I guess a darker theme, though i honestly have to say i'd rather have the techno colors back from the original. The suits look pretty lame in tron legacy in comparison to the original.



Anyways, here are a bunch of videos linked for your convenience.

Tron Legacy Teaser
Tron Legacy Trailer
Tron Theme Daft Punk (Remixed by Cryda Luv)
Sorry couldn't find the original remix.
PilotPriest- Body Double
Title says daft punk, but it's been confirmed that it's PilotPriest- Body Double, also no sure if it was confirmed to even be in the soundtrack, but it's a good listen nonetheless.

TL;DR Big Lebowski's in Tron Legacy, go watch it.

New Blog

Since my xanga was an utter failure in consistent updates, I've decided to make a new blog. You can still read my old stuff at www.xanga.com/royksopp97, but this new blog at loki-sloki blogspot will be updated daily for sure.

You probably have good reason to not believe me considering that i've stated many times that i would consistently update my xanga blog, but now i have a completely new formula. I'm just going to post random stuff. Mostly music videos, but sometimes pictures, and even more rarely actual blog posts.

But to kick off this new blog i'll be sharing something that's older than old, and something you guys have probably already seen. But if you haven't get some toke ready and prepare to be mildly blown away to some placidly epic levels.

http://www.yooouuutuuube.com/

yup, so the way it works is, you get a youtube video, typically a music video, and it turns the video into a bunch of tiles with progressive clips streaming across your screen in an orgy of color and rock. I've already made the standard one for you based on the famous alice remix video by pogo (check out his other stuff too, if you like alice, i think he made his channel private, but there's unofficial ones floating around).

link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt7AF2RCMhg

link for yoooouuutuuube.com version here: http://www.yooouuutuuube.com/v/?rows=36&cols=36&id=pAwR6w2TgxY&startZoom=1

enjoy your sedentary dance.